I should be happy right about now, only 10 minutes ago my doctor explained that I’m definitely ovulating and that my womb/ovaries are looking healthy and cyst free. This is good news.
Except, I’m actually sitting here in my bedroom, my clothes all wet and my hair turning curly from the rain. I’m feeling frustrated and defeated and quite honestly heartbroken. Since my early miscarriage I’ve spent my time researching PCOS, having blood taken and having some pretty embarrassingly invasive tests that involve sticking an ultrasound scanner up my hoo-hah! It’s been an ordeal and I’m still no closer to finding answers, even though I powered through my usual doctor anxiety and asked all the questions I possibly could.
Thing is, I’m not trying to get pregnant right now, and while I’m super glad about the results for any future kids I may try and have, I just want the symptoms and horrible side-effects of PCOS gone!
They are still prominent and it’s a daily struggle to control them, no one can tell me why they are sticking around despite normal ultrasound scans and hormone blood tests. Every morning I wake up feeling less and less womanly.
Surely there must be a reason for it. Surely as we are so medically advanced there must be someone out there who knows something? Surely?