I’ve probably told you all a zillion times by now that I don’t really “suffer” from social anxiety anymore, at least in the way that I used to. I’d told you that I had it under control and I’d been able to do things I’d never dreamed of doing blah blah blah blahhh.
But the truth is, I don’t have it under control anymore.Â
Things happened and I became ill. So ill that it affected how much I can work, how much I can do around the house, how often I can go out and socialise and for how long. I find myself putting on a brave face when I’m in public when all I really want to do is cry and curl up in a ball with my pyjamas on, because the pain is too much.
Then there’s the anxiety. That crippling, vomit inducing, making-me-not-want-to-eat anxiety! The kind that makes me shake all day and overthink everything. The kind that makes me hyperventilate and think of myself as completely incapable of anything. The kind that makes me feel like a total failure and a let down to all my friends, family, colleagues.
Leaving the house to go and get shopping or send post has started taking me way longer than it used to, I’ve started putting off tasks again. I dread going to work or seeing people I know when I’m out picking up food. Even seeing people I know well is making me anxious because I feel less fun to be around now that I’m so exhausted all the time.
I keep having anxiety attacks out of the blue and I think all the weight of my healthcare and not knowing what is going to happen or what to do about it is pulling me down.
Luckily I have a good support system and while I hope this is all just temporary, I have to plan for it being long term. So, despite how many anxiety attacks I have or how long it takes me to leave the house, I’ll do it anyway. I’ll at least try. Before this shitty illness makes me extremely depressed too.
Does anyone else find that illness affects their social anxiety and do you have any strategies in place for when that happens? Let me know in the comments
This used to happen to me. I am pretty sure it is called depression. Why not go see a therapist again?
During my therapy at this moment.. she is helping me see things that I can be grateful for everyday or something to be proud of doing (raise self esteem).
Ex. Monday: Something I did well today.. Today i had fun when.. I felt proud when..
Tuesday: Today I accomplished… I had a positive experience with.. Something I did for someone.. etc.
But I would highly recommend seeing a therapist again. Don’t fight it alone even if you have a good support system.
Wish you the best! 🙂 Hope you feel better soon.
Oh my illness is a very physical one. It’s definitely not depression. It’s something my doctors are trying to diagnose at the moment but it’s absolutely and definitely physical. The issue is, because I’m feeling physically unable and a lot more tired than I used to be, my anxiety is creeping back.
I can see how this would lead me to depression, in fact I’ve had a few moments where I’ve thought I might be heading that way but I’m 100% not suffering with depression right now. I’m keeping a close eye on it though, as I know it’s easy to fall back in those traps.
A therapist is an option if my anxiety gets really bad, it certainly helped me in the past. I’m trying to use the tools that they gave me the first time round and it’s working, slowly. I do tend to write down my thoughts and fears and try and find evidence that doesn’t support them, this has helped me majorly over the past 13 years.
Really liking the sound of noting something you’re grateful for everyday, that is such a good idea. Wish you the best of luck with your therapy!
I forgot to add.. another thing you can do is challenge your negative or “hot” thoughts. Write down the situation or thought that pops in your head, then write down your mood, automatic thoughts/images, evidence that does NOT support “hot” thoughts, alternative/balanced thoughts and finally your rate your mood now.
(one last thing to add I promise) I am currently going through what you are going through actually in the way that I have a “bitch” face and I can’t hide my insecurities or fear. One thing my therapist said is to just not care what people think. And if they notice, to have something set up in your brain to reply quickly. ex.
Statement: (if they say): “Hey you don’t seem to be frowning, or I noticed you look down.”
Assertive Defence of Self: “I didn’t notice, must be because I feel a bit tired. or.. I am working hard etc.”
Those aren’t the best example.. but just plan for if you fear a situation where you might feel a bit sensitive, exposed or invaded and you don’t feel like explaining yourself thoroughly, have the energy or feel threatened.
With these statements floating in your head, you can take each day a bit easier. You are prepared for if anyone notices you feeling a bit sad or depressed.
That’s interesting. I didn’t know that social anxiety could “relapse.” I’ve been working to tackle it myself… it’s an uphill battle =
It’s the same as learning a language or playing an instrument…. once you stop practising, you get rusty. Managing your social anxiety does take practice (by that, I mean maintaining a good level of socialising, not giving into safety behaviours etc.) and if you stop practising and revert back to old habits the chances of your anxiety worsening is high. That’s why mine came back to a certain degree, because I’ve been so ill I’ve not left the house as much, I don’t socialise much and I’ve made a little comfort zone for myself which is stopping me from having to be anxious.
When I regress a little in my progress with mental health, I like to look up the “Book of Life” section on the website School of Life, which is a non-profit mental health organization, and in the Book of Life section, there are a lot of common questions about life answered by a psychiatrist on relationships, career, leisure, anxiety, and the like. They also have a YouTube channel, but only some of the articles are animated, and most are in text form on the School of Life website.
Another YouTube channel I visit for an intro to psychology for mental health is Psych2Go, though it’s becoming too much of a beginner set of information for me now, but a lot of useful information is on there based on research. I also really liked the “Crash Course Psychology,” video series on YouTube, which is another series for beginners, and it really helped me understand myself a lot. They really helped brought a lot of awareness to the public about mental health in general.