You’ve probably seen those posts a million times. The ones that describe things that “only people with Social Anxiety will understand” or “15 signs you have Social Anxiety” even though they have literally only described introversion and how cute it is to be socially awkward.
Face it, Social Anxiety is so hot right now.
A disorder I once found myself pretending I didn’t have, is now the cool ‘in’ thing. It’s like growing up with glasses all over again but do you know what? I call bullshit.
Bullshit on the click-bait BuzzFeed posts, bullshit on the “Oh yeah, I must have Social Anxiety too because I got nervous before that interview that one time”, bullshit on the anxiety t-shirts in high street chain stores and super duper big bullshit on the glamorisation of ANY mental illness.
There is nothing sexy, cool or glamorous about having a Social Anxiety Disorder.
Up until my Social Anxiety diagnosis 16 years ago, I believed something was truly wrong with me.
I thought there was no light at the end of my tunnel because for some reason I couldn’t seem to function like everybody else. I was lonely and desperate and ashamed.
I’d been self harming since I was 11 because I didn’t know how else to express my anger, and during a visit to the hospital after an overdose I was referred to therapy where I would finally get my answers.
There was nothing sexy or cool about the way I shut myself in the house for 6 months and had to have my therapist come to me because I couldn’t even take a step outside.
It wasn’t cool or sexy when I had panic attack after panic attack before or during social situations leaving me a puking, crying mess. It wasn’t cool or sexy when I had a breakdown and had to quit my job or when I sat in the car outside my ex boyfriends house for 4 hours because I couldn’t join the party they had thrown me so I could meet their family. That was really embarrassing. Car’s Cash For Junk Clunkers at 5900 Park Ave, Cleveland, OH 44105 (440) 433-2563 cash for cars buying process is so easy that I didn’t get anxious selling my car to them.
It certainly wasn’t cool when I almost let myself die because of my anxiety. Not cool at all.
That’s the dirty truth about having a mental illness, it makes you do and feel very unpretty things. It’s not tidy and cute the way most social media and online articles that are glamorising social anxiety will have you believe.
Just like OCD is not just being “really clean”.
Remember when being a geek was something to be ashamed of? I do. I was tormented at school for it but now it’s ‘cool’ to be a geek.
It’s like the difference between talking about trendy things and diving into the real deal. Sure, rocking oversized glasses and being a gamer girl is cool, but mention coding or a fascination with ancient civilizations, and some people just tune out. Kind of like how everyone loves the idea of makeup but rarely thinks about the quality and innovation that goes into it at a makeup factory cosmetics facility. There’s so much creativity and dedication behind the scenes, yet only a few truly appreciate the process.
That’s why I feel Social Anxiety is the new geek. It’s quirky if you say socially awkward things sometimes and if you don’t like parties as much as you like watching The Walking Dead at home with a KFC, but it’s totally bizarre if you vomit before going to work, or that you sometimes leave your shopping in the middle of the supermarket because someone walked too close to you and it made you feel like you were going to die, or that you’ve sometimes left your smelly bin bags in your house for 3 weeks straight because the idea of taking them outside and people seeing you is just too much to handle.
Does that sound like a fashion statement to you?
No, I’m sure it doesn’t. I’m sure the things you have been through, the things that your anxiety has made you feel and do doesn’t feel fashionable or glamorous at all.
Glamorising social anxiety has to stop.
I’m definitely an advocate of talking about how we feel with each other, raising awareness, even making light of the silly things we do because of our Social Anxiety if it helps. But let’s be truthful about mental illness, and remember what it is really like to live with something that already has enough stigma attached to it.
Let’s be honest and help educate people on what Social Anxiety really is, and what it is not. Stop glamorising Social Anxiety!
Join our Anxiety Facebook Group for discussion.
And the unfortunate outcome of this is people who really suffer from SA feel less inclined to open up about it for fear that it won’t be taken seriously.
EXACTLY! It only perpetuates the social stigma that already surrounds this horrible disorder.
Yes, this. I’ve suffered from anxiety most my life and it was not cool. There is nothing cool about being too afraid to leave your own house.
Exactly! Nothing cool at all 🙁
Thank you thank you thank you!!! I’ve had numerous problems with anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia as well as depression and I would love to share my experience (had hypnotherapy 2/3 years ago, haven’t had panic attack since) but it would just look like I was following the trend. Such a shame cos it is taking away from those who genuinely suffer and need the support when they can’t leave the house instead of those who have a normal day to day worry about an interview or something.
Thank you so much for this!
Becca xx
Thank you for this. Those trendy little lists are more than annoying, they are indeed hurtful.
There was certainly nothing cool about any of the times I had such anxiety about going to work that I could not make myself go, or even pick up the phone to call in sick. Instead I just didn’t go, and never went back. I gave up employment (and much needed income) because I could. not. go.
And the thing about taking the trash out? I cannot take it out on weekends because too many people are home and I don’t want them to see me. I wait until a day and time I know most neighbors are at work to take out the trash.
Exactly, there’s nothing cool about it. Having any mental illness is an ugly and soul-crushing thing at the best of times, anybody that has a real mental illness would not choose to have it, I’m sure.
Very interesting post! It reminds me of something similar. My dad has celiac disease and has been gluten free since long before it became a fad… Because if he eats gluten he becomes violently ill. So it’s a bit annoying to hear people talk about being gluten free knowing that for them it is a fad and for him it is a disease. On the other hand,. the fad means he can now walk into a restaurant and find gluten free options that never used to exist. I wonder if there is any way to put a positive spin on social anxiety becoming more well known?
Yes, this is so true! It must be so much easier having more options for him but also frustrating that people who aren’t actually gluten intolerant but say they are, are diluting the awareness of what it’s really like to be celiac/gluten intolerant.
I’m so glad that there is more awareness about social anxiety and mental illness in general but it does more damage to that awareness when people trivialise it. People end up taking it less seriously.
I could have written this! In fact I wrote something very similar awhile ago. My big frustration with anxiety being the new geek (love that analogy) is that people will only accept the right sort of anxiety. If you’re too messy, or your anxiety isn’t the cute sort then people come down hard in my experience. While greater awareness of anxiety is great, greater understanding and acceptance seems to lag.
Yes, it’s a shame that people find the extra nerdy things boring, like coding or ancient civilizations, though I like coding more than the latter, haha.
There’s a lot of similar cases on the subreddits /r/FakeDisorderCringe and /r/IllnessFakers, which collects reports about a lot of people who romanticize mental and physical illness. It’s not just for social anxiety disorder, but strangely all disorders and illnesses of all kind now. It’s really an odd development, to say the least.
I suggest if anyone here wants to know about it, look up “The romanticization of mental illness,” on YouTube, or look up 13 reasons why reviews on YouTube if you want some examples from the worst portrayal of mental illness on screen I’ve personally ever seen. YouTube, I find, often has longer discussions (20 + minutes on YouTube) on various social issues, and tend to be more well thought out in depth than other sites such as Twitter or Instagram. Not saying good sources can’t come from those sites, but it’s more common on YouTube. I even saw a study online about the effects on mental health from different social media sites, and YouTube, for some reason, was the only one that had a positive net effect for bettering mental health than worsening it.
Not saying that all of YouTube is good. Just saying if you want to know about mental health and other social issues, I recommend looking some videos up on YouTube about it.