“But you don’t look sick”
“You went out for lunch yesterday, you can’t be in that much pain”
“I saw a picture of you on Facebook, looked like you were having a good time. You can’t be that unwell”
They are called invisible illnesses for a reason.
Whether it’s a mental or physical illness, if it’s not as obvious on the outside then there are always people who will try to diminish what you’re going through.
‘Cause it’s not like you can laugh at a joke when you have a broken bone or anything and it’s not like you can tell people that a bruise doesn’t hurt when it actually does.
It’s called putting on a brave face, not just because you want people to think you’re okay but because sometimes it’s hard to talk about, sometimes people just don’t understand and because flippant & hurtful comments sometimes make you feel like you have to conceal even the worst of days.
I’ve been around groups of people, trying to laugh and joke and act normal while going through severe endometriosis pain, losing crazy amounts of blood at the same time (not even gonna sugar-coat it) and enduring the lovely chronic fatigue that comes with it.
I’ve been in many social situations where I’ve pretended to be confident to mask how I really feel.
I also joke around a lot when I’m nervous but I’ve spent years trying not to show how severely anxious I am.
The physical symptoms I get from having anxiety only make my anxiety worse, so I’ve mastered the art of not looking like I’m dying every time I’m in a social situation.
I’ve held my head up high in front of everyone I’ve known, while dealing with depression in the dark. I’ve smiled and even enjoyed myself at times during those dark periods but that feeling wouldn’t last because I’d still have to go back to my life and deal with what was causing my depression, even if that was nothing at all.
I don’t wear my illnesses on my face everyday of my life because they don’t define me as a person and I shouldn’t have to justify being sick to anyone.
More importantly, if having a chronic or mental illness means I’m not allowed to smile, laugh or have fun once in a while then what is the point of struggling through the bad days? What is the point of living if I can’t enjoy my life DESPITE being sick?
Just because I look fine, it doesn’t automatically mean I am fine.
So please for the love of all that’s good in the world, stop telling people with invisible illnesses that “you don’t look sick”.