The reason I started this blog in the first place was to find people I could relate to.
Anytime I searched “social anxiety” on Google, all I could find were medical articles by doctors who listed the clinical symptoms of social anxiety and nothing about them were at all relatable.
Sure, I mean I got all of the symptoms and it all seemed to fit but I needed to read that I wasn’t the only one who went for a pee 5 times before leaving the house and that I wasn’t the only one to hide from the postman.
I needed to laugh at myself by relating to other people feeling silly and embarrassed about what they’ve done because of social anxiety and I needed to know that the things I do are normal for social anxiety and not just because I’m an oddball!
So I’ve listed some of the things that are totally normal when you have social anxiety in hope that you can feel related to!
- Pretending your texting to look busy.
- Checking that no one is on the street and your neighbours aren’t outside their house before you open the front door.
- Closing the front door again just after opening it because you heard a car.
- Holding your pee until the person in the toilet cubicle next to you leaves.
- Getting really anxious because you’ve imagined an entire unrealistic scenario in which you’re doing something super embarrassing.
- Thinking of something funny but leaving it too late to say it out loud.
- Hiding in the toilet to get away from socialising.
- Coming up with the most ridiculous excuses to get out of plans.
- Always doing something with your hands because you don’t know where to put them when they’re still.
- Darting your eyes around a room so that you don’t accidentally stare at anyone and then getting a bit dizzy.
- Saying “you too” when someone wished you happy birthday because you were put on the spot.
- Looking at pictures of the restaurant you’re going to on Google, to see if you can see where the toilets are or where you may end up sitting.
- Preparing every possible thing you might have to say before going into a social situation.
- Pretending that you’re not hungry when someone tells you to “help yourself”.
- Going all day without a drink at a friends house because you’re too anxious to ask for one.
- Not being able to listen to your headphones at full volume in public in case you accidentally breathe too loud.
- Practising your take-away order about 10 times before going up to the counter.
- Re-reading your emails dozens of times before sending them.
- Deleting Facebook statuses before posting because you think no one will comment or like.
- Zoning out when too much is going on at once.
- Suddenly thinking about something that you said or did 10 years ago and having an anxiety attack.
- Only exercising at home.
- Always forgetting to ask the handyman if they want a cup of tea because you’ve already hidden from them.
- Which food to order is usually dictated by whether you can order online instead of speaking on the phone.
- Watching your phone ring and waiting for it to go to voicemail.
- Pretending you haven’t seen someone that you know walking towards you in case you clock them and they don’t recognise you.
- Getting upset that your friends haven’t invited you out but when they do, you cancel or say you can’t go.
- Thinking that every single person in a coffee shop or restaurant is looking at you and judging you.
- Feeling relieved when you come down with a virus, so you don’t have to leave your house.
- Giving awkward handshakes/hugs because you don’t know how to greet someone.
Do you do any of the things on this list? What silly things do you do because of your social anxiety?
Hi Kel!
I really like your posts. They speak to me in my language. I especially like your hopeful tone. You radiate positivity . I have a blog: https://www.mentallyinteresting.com and I would love if you would do a guest post. I really liked your posts on Hope and Anxiety and Silly Things We Do With Anxiety.
Warmly,
Lauren
YES!!!!!! I do most of these things! Lol. In fact, just the other night, someone said, “What’s up?” Of course, this is a question I never know how to answer. Do I tell them what I’m doing? I think people say it as if they’re just saying hi, but to me it means, what are you up to? Lol. I quickly replied, “Good! How are you?” 😂 I enjoyed reading your list. It made me laugh because it’s so relatable! Thanks for sharing!
ohh I get this too. Where I used to live, people say “alright” as a greeting but here it’s a question and I never know whether to say “yes I’m good thanks” or “alright” back haha.
Lol. I’ve never heard of “alright” as a greeting. That’s interesting. 😊
This is so relatable. Perhaps number 16 is more common than I realise but reading that someone else does this is somehow reassuring. Thank you very much for sharing!
Thank you for reading! and yes I totally realised I did number 16 after travelling on trains a lot haha!
According to this list I don’t have social anxiety at all. I’ve honestly never done any of these things. But I do know people who have it and it’s horrible to think this is what plagues their mind and actions. Much love to anyone suffering.
1. How about pretending I’m talking on my cell phone when I see a neighbor outside when I get home from work and i have to walk to the mailbox.
2. Bringing an empty cup to the breakroom when I have to pee just incase someone is in the breakroom. Of course I’ll leave and find another toilet.
3. Freaking out when someone knocks or rings your doorbell and so afaridbtheyll see you pearing out of the dining room curtain so you carefully position it to see them leave your walkway.
4. Getting a free gym membership but too afraid to go because there are strange people there.
That’s all I can think of in just a minute.
The most bizarre thing is I can stand up in front of a packed auditorium where I know no one and talk for hours and it doesnt bother me one bit.
Omg! Yasss!! To all of them. It’s such a relief to hear someone say “normal” because it’s been my normal since childhood. My Mother was recently taken from this world in a very traumatic way, three days after my 38th birthday in May, so The Depression has brought its Evil head into my life once again. Dealing with both of them is Bonkers!
On a funnier note.. People ask me “Whats up?” I’m typically a sarcastic person, so I just reply ” The sky!” Ik , ik. I’m corny as hell. Lol, Now a Mom of a 14 year old Daughter who is so much like me its uncanny, Unlike my parents I try to push her out of her comfort zone a little bit more each time. I don’t want her to have to miss out so much of what should be a fun, memorable time of her life because of the extreme shyness and social anxiety.
When y’all get flustered from being put on the spot, do you also get tongue tied often?! 🤣
21 is one of the worst for me personally, being embarrassed about stuff happening years back, but I hear it’s very common actually, mental illness or not. It seems with my research in psychology, nearly everyone struggles with one or more embarrassing memories like that. If you look at common causes of insomnia, which is one of the most common problems today, a lot of people talk about remembering scenarios years and years ago.
Personally, it’s cheesy, but I do this practice of writing compassionate letters to my younger self then, or even just try to tell my younger self soothing words, and it gets easier this way. I heard it as part of a technique called “inner child work,” when you connect to the child version of yourself, or the vulnerable and playful version of yourself, that people suppress as an adult. It’s really interesting. . . I like to play a guided meditation called “self compassion meditation,” with the videos on YouTube, for this.