Dear High School Bullies (aka Total Utter Smegheads)
It’s been nearly 13 years since I dropped out of school because of you. Tormenting me became so habitual for you that I couldn’t make it through a single class, or even through the hallway without being told I was “ugly” a “stupid goth” a “fat bitch” a “dog”, or being pushed into a wall, or having things thrown at me.
Putting chewing gum in my hair and attempting to set it on fire was fun for you. Do you remember the unwrapped condom you put in my hair during science? Every single pair of eyes in that room were on me, the kids laughing so hard.. I definitely didn’t forget.
How about the time a few of you dared one your group to grab my ass and when he did, you gave him £2 for being a good sport.. because who in their right mind would want to touch the disgusting class geek, right?
Or how about when you all took my glasses off my face and threw them on the concrete so I’d need to use Sellotape to fix them, then you all made fun of me for having Sellotape on my glasses for a year. Or when you took my inhaler out of my hands, throwing it to each other so I couldn’t breathe.
Maybe you remember using me as a punching bag? Or waiting for me outside the school gates so you could throw eggs at me? Or putting cigarettes out on me in the school toilets.
Perhaps none of you will remember at all because it wasn’t your life almost ruined. It wasn’t my words that cut your heart in half. It wasn’t me that made your anxiety unbearable and made you feel like suicide was the only option. No. It was you that did that to me.
Still to this day the things you all made me suffer makes me sick when I remember them, not just because it was an extremely difficult time but because it was just a fraction of the bullying in my life that I received and when you hear so many times from different people in different times of your life that you’re not good enough.. you start to fucking believe it.
But do I hate you all for that? … No.
Happy, confident people don’t bully or belittle other people. [tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true”]Happy, confident people don’t bully or belittle other people.[/tweetthis]
They don’t need to tear anyone else down to make themselves feel better. So if you could treat me that horribly, there must have been a reason. Maybe it was low self esteem, maybe you figured if you didn’t bully me then you’d be the one bullied or perhaps you were going through some other serious shit during a very confusing time and I was an easy target.
I know a lot of you have grown up to be much nicer people, even started families. So I beg you to teach your kids not to be dicks to other kids in high school. Teach them to be compassionate and thoughtful, everything that you weren’t in school.
And know that I forgive you because I spent the last 13 years trying to prove the people like you in my life wrong. I now have my own business, an amazing loving relationship and a fabulous group of friends – things you always made me believe I’d never be good enough for but I guess you were just full of shit 🙂
(Me when I was a teenager)