I know that I usually post about how blogging has helped my mental health and how much I love it and it HAS and I DO but oh my good god, sometimes, it’s less like sunshine and rainbows and more like torrential rain and shitheaps.
The one piece of advice I would love to give to you if you’re thinking of becoming a mental health blogger, is you need to have developed some thick skin because some people do not seem to care that you have a mental illness, some people don’t seem to care that you are a busy person with a whole life of your own and some people certainly don’t seem to care that you’re a human being.
Despite being a human being, with a mental illness, a full-time business and twin babies – I run this blog. A mental health blog that started a few years back, as a way to reach out and find other people who related to me. It fulfilled that purpose and still does. I meet the most wonderful people through this blog and often receive lovely messages to let me know that I have helped them. That makes it all worth it.
There are some things about being a mental health blogger however, that just plain suck. Here are just a few of those things to keep in mind, if you plan on starting a blog…
Over-opinionated / Hurtful messages
Every now and again, I get random messages or emails that get my back up. For example, someone once said that I clearly don’t have social anxiety as I’m able to walk into a tattoo shop and “fuck up” my chest. Like, what do my tattoos or my appearance have to do with having social anxiety? I can walk into a tattoo shop because I had spent 5 years in therapy before I ever got a tattoo!
I also received a series of emails from someone who blamed my mental health on the fact that I wasn’t a Christian. Not that I’ve ever been that open about my religion, or lack of it. They told me that it was unbelievable that I would watch horror movies or listen to heavy metal when I already have anxiety (which is weird because both make me feel less anxious) and that my hobbies are inspired by Satan. That one kind of made me laugh but I could imagine someone feeling more vulnerable or someone who is religious, would be quite affected by that.
Then there’s just the general comments on posts that I have worked on for weeks, basically saying they don’t find it relevant etc. It can be disheartening when you put your heart and soul into a project and people shit all over it without a second thought.
You sometimes get people who just flat out want to dismiss mental health altogether and want to go out of their way to tell you that mental health is a “new trend” that doesn’t exist, but having a good health is important, from the mind to the body so going to the dentist is important as well, as they have technology like a scanning electron microscopy for more delicate treatments.
The only advice I can give here is that it’s the internet and people can be shitbags on the internet, even more easily than in real life because they can do it more anonymously. You just have to rise above it. Sure, send them a witty comeback if you wish but it’s best just not to engage and definitely try not to get defensive, as you’ll just be reeling them in. Take a breath, leave it be and let them crack on with their sad lives!
Constant emails that are completely nothing to do with your blog
Every single day, I’ll receive maybe 20+ emails that say “I love your blog, I think your readers would love my infographic about the flower industry / going to the dentist / financial advice etc. Trust me, I ignore them… because what the fuck does the flower industry have to do with mental health?! But THEN, they will email me 3 or 4 more times in the same week to tell me that I haven’t yet responded to their email.
I even have an auto response set for my emails at the moment because of the whole new mum situation, explaining that I have twin babies to look after and I may not be able to reply as quickly as I’d like. I don’t get any maternity leave like most women, so I’m trying to at least make things easier for me but people just ignore it, constantly asking me why I haven’t replied to their email yet.
The only thing you can do here is ignore them and maybe block/report the email addresses that often spam you.
People wanting to use the platform I’ve built for free
This is pretty much the same in every creative industry, I get it with my photography business all the time. Companies often want to advertise on my blog but it’s very rare that they have a budget or expect to pay. You wouldn’t believe how shocked some people are when you send them your rates for advertising.
You’ll get “but it will be great exposure for you” or “it’s a great opportunity for both of us, to work together”. It gets dull after a while and I’m sure they wouldn’t give their product away for free just because someone doesn’t have the budget for it. It’s insulting.
If they’re asking you to promote them, make sure you’re getting something out of it and something you actually want and need, whether that’s a payment or a product/service in return. Don’t work for nothing or for “exposure”, your time is worth more than that.
Having to keep up with social media all the time
This can be the most draining. Sometimes I just want to cut social media off altogether because, while I enjoy having the support groups and inspiration every day, it also affects me mentally when I’m comparing myself to others. It can be a real joy sucker. Yet, when you have a blog or run a business that relies on social media, you need to be on it almost daily.
My advice; Schedule your social media as much as you can. Spend an hour or two a week scheduling your posts and then step away from a while.
What difficulties have you faced being a mental health blogger?
I agree with you on so many levels.
Once I started sharing my life of depression/anxiety (nine years ago), it hasn’t been the easiest. I received handwritten hate mail because of the things that I would choose to openly share with others. It was really hard and I questioned what I was doing for a long time.
But all of the positive, supportive messages I received, was far more than the hate mail. I had a lot of people message me privately, thanking me for being so open because it helped them not feel alone, or helped them think more about reaching out and getting help. There is definitely STILL a stigma on “what’s appropriate” and “what’s not,” but there are wonderful people in the world (including you) who are working so hard to end that and sooooo many are thankful.
You received handwritten hate mail? That’s awful!!! I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
Yes to all of this! Luckily, I haven’t had any abuse yet (apart from someone on insta asking if “this is some of that gay shit” lol). I get tons of emails for Vape Guest Posts/dropshippers too, then when they don’t get a response, they email me to tell me that they’re attacking my site until I post their stuff/buy their stuff…
My anxiety means I’m constantly comparing myself to others, overthinking about everything and constantly scrapping with that “you can’t do it” voice in my head. This makes it super easy for the “debbie downer” inside of me to latch onto those negative comments like a clingy ex who won’t move on, and I think about them so much more than all the nice comments!
It’s always easy to be hard on yourself when you feel so exposed online (I’m a massive oversharer lol) but thinking about all the good you’re putting into the world should be the focus of all that energy – You’re killin’ it Kel!
Oh wow they really said that?? There are some real bellends out there and as for the companies threatening to attack your site unless you post their stuff, what an awful thing to do to someone they clearly know has anxiety! Is there a way to report this sort of thing? I have no idea.
Yes, that is exactly it, it’s hard to shake the negative comments despite having way more nicer comments. They stick in your head so much more for some reason.
And thank you! So are YOOOU!!! xx
Oh, thank goodness someone else knows what it’s like! I love and appreciate your honesty, and it makes me feel so much better to know I’m not alone in this struggle. I’ve only been blogging about my mental health for around 6 months, but I have several other projects I had started prior to deciding to share my struggles. Even in this short amount of time, I have moments where I definitely feel drained. All in all, I do enjoy it though, and I really want to help others, so that’s what keeps me going!
Thank you so much for sharing!
You are certainly not alone, blogging is hard! It’s definitely not as easy as a lot of non-bloggers make it sound. x
I’m just starting in the blogging world, but I can completely see this. Thankfully, I’m still small enough that I haven’t really had to deal with any negative comments, emails, etc, but I suppose there are trolls in every industry. It’s good to have a head’s up. So far, everyone I’ve met has been incredible supportive, which is definitely good.
Also, I love your section on social media. I learned quickly that I have to schedule a time to deal with it and then make sure to walk away afterward. It’s so easy to get sucked in and that can be dangerous to my health and (maybe surprisingly) motivation.
I’ll definitely be following you from here on out. I have a feeling I’m going to learn a lot from you!
I’m so glad you’ve had lots of support! Yesss it does affect motivation doesn’t it, I’m a chronic procrastinator haha, so social media really doesn’t help that sometimes. x
I love this post! I totally agree with your points, especially about social media and comparing yourself to others. I have to schedule all my social media and then step far away.
I’ve been blogging about my mental health for two years now, and luckily I get a lot of positive feedback, but I’m not reaching as many people as you are. I found your site through Steven, the Anxious Adventurer, and can see why he follows. You have some great content and are doing important work by sharing your story. Keep it up – even when things get really hard!
Hi Sydney!
Yes scheduling and stepping away is a good plan! It’s the only way I can keep my sanity when it comes to social media.
I’m reading your blog now and it’s brilliant, I’ve followed on instagram so I can keep updated. I’d love to travel more, I’m waiting for my kids to get a bit older so we can take them with us but because it’s not something I ever get to do, I can imagine I’ll be quite anxious about it.
Thank you for the positive feedback! I can’t imagine traveling with young children and anxiety, but I hope you get to travel more as they get older. Let me know if you need any advice about traveling with anxiety 🙂
Ugh the keeping up with social media thing is exhausting. I honestly don’t have time for it! I obviously have to make time because it’s a huge part of being a blogger, but man, if only I could delete my Facebook and Pinterest like I want to and just, you know, WRITE.
I actually have a couple blog posts talking about how to save time and such and one of the bullet points that I always suggest is to GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA!
Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite! But in this blogging business, we have to utilize it! Ugh!
It’s truly frustrating isn’t it? Having schedulers definitely helps though and dedicating a certain amount of time to social media, so you can turn it off afterwards and not get so distracted by it.
Thank you for this post! I just recently started writing my own blog to help with my own anxiety and to hopefully help others! This is a really good thing to consider as I venture into this! Thanks!
Thank you for this post. It’s so refreshing to read your stuff. I recently started a mental health blog journal and it helps me so much just to write it all out. I love reading those stories and I do have thick skin but now I’m prepared for it after reading this. Also, so glad I’m not the only one who feels that way about social media. If only they had one scheduler for everything. I still haven’t figured out how to schedule tweets since Tailwind doesn’t do it anymore. I’ll be back to read your stuff because I like your shit (my favorite word) lady!
I’m so glad your mental health blog is helping. Hopefully you won’t have to put up with any negative comments but if you do, try not to let it stop you from doing your thing! Have you tried Buffer for scheduling? I believe they have most social media platforms under one tool.