How Social Anxiety Made Me Grateful For These 5 Things

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If you told me 13 years ago, that I’d be grateful for having had a social anxiety disorder most of my life, I’d probably want to kick you in the shin. Social anxiety has been the biggest part of my life, it consumed me through my teenage years and taunted me as an adult. For a long time, I felt as if I’d missed out on an important chunk of my life and I desperately wanted the experiences that everyone around me had.

It’s easy to hate your mental illness, I did for years. I just wanted it gone and the fact that it lingered for so long, tore me up inside.

The last couple of years have been a whirlwind and I have now reached a point where I can manage my social anxiety. It’s still there, I don’t believe it will truly ever go away since I’ve had it for 20+ years but I can manage it much better, enough to live a “normal” life (whatever the fuck normal is). Having reached this point, I’ve been able to reflect properly on my life with social anxiety and see myself in a clearer view. This reflection has taught me that my experience with social anxiety is not something I feel hurt about and I certainly don’t see it as being unfair, in fact it has made me grateful.

“What did it make you grateful for though?” I hear you shouting with amazement

Well, let me tell you, as a I stroke my imaginary long white beard to convince you that I’m old and wise now…

 

1. Being grateful for things that other people would consider mundane

So I get on a bus for a journey that lasts 10 minutes, or answer a phone call without hyperventilating and it’s a huge fucking deal. Things that I used to struggle doing because of my social anxiety that I’ve learnt how to be comfortable with, like having a conversation, going to the shop by myself and going to the checkout by myself, getting on public transport or answering the door to a parcel… they are all things I’m grateful for every time I’m able to do them. I’m grateful for super mundane things that most people complain about having to do just because I am ABLE to do them, because I remember what it’s like to not even be able to leave the house at all.

 

2. Feeling like a winner

Any time you go into something that terrifies you and you get through it anyway, it’s a massive achievement. I always get to feel a sense of achievement whenever I leave my front door because every social interaction, every place I enter, every person I’m able to even walk past is something that takes a lot for me to be able to do.

 

3. Knowing who I am

Whatever confidence I do have, is completely real. It’s something that I’ve earned over time and it’s stuck with me now and as I’ve grown in confidence and peeled back the layers of my social anxiety, my true personality has been revealed to me. All these years that I thought I was quiet and timid but the reality of the matter is, I’m a loud potty-mouthed extrovert who loves a good party and acts like a tit. I have loved learning who I really am and becoming my true self has been an incredible journey.

 

4. I’ve learnt to be empathetic towards others

Having a mental illness teaches you empathy and compassion because you realise people can suffer in different ways and without it being obvious. You also know what it’s like to struggle so often it makes you more aware of other people’s pain. I’m definitely grateful for that. I’d hate to be someone who doesn’t appreciate other people’s suffering.

Another plus, is that having social anxiety has made me a super good people photographer because I photograph a lot of people who are super camera shy and get anxiety in front of a camera – they’re always telling me I helped them relax and made that process much easier for them. It’s because I can put myself in their shoes, I know how that shit feels.

 

5. Knowing my strength

Social anxiety made me feel pathetic and weak and I often told myself that I was rubbish at everything, it was a constant battle between me and my head. The truth is, I was strong. I left the house at times I thought I couldn’t face it. I went into situations that made my heart palpitate, hands sweat, body tremble and stomach nauseated. I wasn’t weak at all. I faced my biggest fears on a daily basis, I still do really.

That’s what I’m most grateful for, learning my own strength, because now if someone asks me to do something or an opportunity arises, I know that even if it’s scary as fuck, I CAN and WILL do it!

 

What does social anxiety make you grateful for? What has your mental illness taught you?

 

 

How Social Anxiety Made Me Grateful For These 5 Things

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11 thoughts on “How Social Anxiety Made Me Grateful For These 5 Things

  1. I agree, social anxiety makes me a much more empathetic person! I like to think of myself as a wayyyy more understanding person because of it. I also feel like I can easily pick up on other people’s energies, and I can usually tell if someone feels uncomfortable or nervous. If I sense that from them, I try my best to make them feel comfortable, because that’s how I would want to feel. Thank you for this relatable post!

    1. That’s exactly it! If we sense someone is nervous, we can easily put ourselves in their shoes and help them feel just as at ease as we’d like to feel 🙂

    1. Aww it’s good to look at the positives and it certainly does make you feel proud and grateful for things that most people wouldn’t even consider a big deal.

  2. Hello, Kel. I’m Melody from TreasureLives Suicide Prevention & Mental Health Awareness in the United States. Your blog makes me smile! I love your wit and your style. This particular post brings a fresh, amazing perspective to living with mental illness: gratitude! I am grateful you wrote it, and I am grateful I read it. I have been nominated for the 2017 Best Bloggers Recognition Reward and in turn I am nominating you! Please visit http://www.bettysbattleground.com for information about the process.Congratulations! Enjoy! ~ Melody

    1. Hi Melody
      Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed the post and aww that’s lovely, I’ll take a look now 🙂

  3. What a brilliant post! It’s great to see someone open up so honestly about anxiety. The main thing I’ve realised with my anxiety is that I’m a strong ass motherfucker. When a panic attack is taking place, although it’s horrific, I know that I will make it through. I’ve learnt more about myself as a person and it’s made me much stronger and determined with life in general. Thank you for writing this post and starting such an important discussion in the comments. I’m noticing more and more people speaking openly about mental health recently and it’s such a huge step forward. I also LOVE your profile picture, you look beautiful.

    Rosie Mauu
    creatinghappyminds.wordpress.com

    xxxx

    1. Hi Rosie
      Thank you so much <3 You're definitely a strong person, especially if you can get through a panic attack, recognising you'll be okay at the end of it. I'm glad that your anxiety has shown you how strong you are 🙂 xx

  4. What a positive post, and reading this (as someone who struggles with anxiety) it made me feel so much better! I definitely appreciate a lot of the mundane things as well, although I’m still peeling back layers and trying to get more confident.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

  5. I love the way you made this is about gratitude and feelings of achievement. You are so right! Every time I do something that I have dreaded, I feel like SuperWoman! And the empathy I’ve gained for all kinds of people in all kinds of situations. Thanks for a great post!

    1. Thank you Lauren! Definitely feel like Superwoman too! It’s such a great feeling when you do something that your anxiety tells you that you’re incapable of isn’t it! x